Getting It Together

"Too Old To Eat"

Bored with this moving back into my home and unpacking, I have been working not only on another adult blog I have but the following tests I found on Yahoo Personal after signing up. Learning about the mistakes of the past and correcting them is a plus in my book. I really think doing the test told me a lot of what I already knew and then some things I was not so aware of.

I greatly appreciate Yahoo and all those involved in putting together what they feel is a help to us. We should pay more attention not only to the red flags, intuition but those qualified in knowing more about people than people know about themselves. I also appreciate the fact that we all can post to a blog for the public and privately for free.

I am in the habit of putting the wrong men in my life and felt it was time to look at myself. I know I am a good hard working woman and give all that I can to make life a happy place however there seems to be somethng terribly wrong. I am tired of wasting my precious energy and life with the wrong men. Now, I feel I know what I should look for.

In the past 10 years I have found that some people on the internet, and in the real world thrive on playing mind games.....telling what they want to be......not sharing who and what they really are. For the truth of you and your personalities do come out and then what? Pray you have the strength to walk away and not look back. In time, none of us will stay with those that are not compatible for a good relationship. We will not stay with those that cause the worst to come out of us. For those that are trusting and not so worldly we fall prey. Hopefully we learn to look with our eyes wide open in the future.

In the past years, some men in my life made foolish comments toward me when I would read self-help books or articles. I really understand why now.

I found the above picture on the internet and hope I don't offend anyone by using it since I put the link back with it. I liked this and "Too Old To Eat" because it made me think of my past relationships. *grins*

Well, for the rest of you, keep on reading and enlighting yourself to what is not only out there but to better understand yourself. I do not recommend any one author or book for I believe in reading every opinion to be had and then take the time to fit what is best for you and your life. As long as we live, we should thrive to learn and stand up for what is right.

I appreciate your comments and feelings expressed.

Wishing you sunshine and roses

Best and Worst Fits

You'd Be a Better Fit with the Individualist

Sometimes a personality type we wouldn't normally consider can make for the happiest relationship.

The Individualist is a little different than the type you would typically notice, but here's why we suggest you give Individualists a chance:

• You'll be attracted to his intelligence and creativity.
• You'll find his strong and tough demeanor sexy.
• You'll appreciate how he encourages you to listen to your inner voice.

With the Individualist you may also avoid some of the clashes and bad dynamics that can emerge with the Idealist types.

Unlike some people who like to debate every decision, Idividualists make a decision and move on.

An Individualist is more likely to help you watch out for your interests and avoid being taken advantage of.

Individualists like to take life as it comes, while Idealists tend to plan and analyze more than they actually experience.

Individualists' Imperfections
As you already know, nothing's perfect.

You'll still encounter some challenges with Individualists because:

• He can go off on a tangent about some theoretical idea or abstract point...long after you've stopped listening.
• He can seem cold and unsympathetic sometimes.
• His head can be in the clouds sometimes, when you need help making practical decisions.

Your Worst Fitting Types
It's true that sometimes opposites attract. However, for the most part, the following types would typically clash with your personality and preferences:

Rebel: He's a Rebel, challenging the status quo with his proactive, defiant, and stimulating style. Seeing himself as the exception to most rules, he's about being a free thinker who follows his "bliss," perhaps bringing others into his life who are pursuing theirs

Leader: He's a strong, energized Leader—abounding with passion, persistence, and versatility—driven to make an impact on the world. He thrives on intensity and excitement and gravitates toward other strong-willed people. As a friend, he's fiercely loyal and would do anything to protect his loved ones.

Your Favorite Type: You Seek the Idealist

The qualities you found most appealing fit the Idealist personality type.

Givers like you are often drawn to these insightful and visionary men.

The Idealist's life mission is making the world a better place.

He cares about big ideas and big issues.

Still, his most important mission will be caring for and supporting you.

In many ways, he's the ideal friend and co-worker who inspires others to pursue their dreams.

He'll also be hard to resist because:

You'll be drawn to his kindhearted nature.

He's great at motivating and energizing you to be your best.

His intelligence will be obvious, and

you'll be taken by the creative and inventive way his mind works.

You'll find his ambition and competitive edge sexy.

In return, you can help balance and expand his world as well:

He'll appreciate your unshakeable loyalty.
He'll be drawn to your genuine warmth and compassion.

He'll be impressed by your organization skills

and how you do so much and help so many people.

Like You, But Different

Let's take a closer look at some of the specific qualities you find appealing.

You're looking for a man who'll be like you in some key ways,

but who'll be different from you in others.

Here are two examples of each extreme:

Givers and Idealists

• You're looking for a man who shares your religious beliefs and genuinely lives his life by these principles.
• You're drawn to very kind men who, like you, always see the best in other people.
• You're drawn to very ambitious men. Although you shy away from competition, you've always been drawn to real go-getters.
• Since you can be overly serious sometimes, you find men who have a witty, self-deprecating sense of humor very attractive.

Handling Conflict

Your Conflict Style is Expert

You balance being assertive with trying to find common ground and ways to compromise.
At your best, you approach conflicts in a tough minded and assertive way, but still try to find a compromise you both can live with. You see conflicts as a challenge and a chance to find a fair, win-win solution.

Other times, you simply try to accommodate your partner and ignore that a disagreement even exists. You'd rather do nothing than potentially say or do something that could hurt your partner or scare him away.

What would it be like to have an argument with your favorite personality type?

Idealists enjoy a good debate. They're prone to intellectualize issues and overlook the real emotions involved. You'll have to encourage him to speak from his heart and not his head.

Regardless of his personality type, any partner will appreciate your ability to talk rationally about problems and your willingness to find compromises. Your biggest risk in this arena is ending up with a partner who's less skilled than you. Don't assume you can do all the emotional and negotiating work when you and your partner disagree. You deserve a partner who's equally skilled or at least motivated to become so.

Your Conflict Skills

You appear to handle conflict very well as long as you apply your strengths, which include:

• You know how to assert your point of view in a positive way. You can talk about your beliefs without dismissing your partner's beliefs.
• You can see things from your partner's point of view. Great communicators imagine what they would think and believe if they were their partner.
• You avoid saying provocative things when you argue. You don't insult your partner or "add fuel to the fire," by bringing up other hurtful issues.

On the other hand, your test results also point to some possible weak points to keep in mind:

• You can come across as unforgiving. In what you say and how you say it, your partner may feel like you can't accept or forgive him.
• You should try using humor to ease tension and prevent conflict. It's often easier to laugh off a remark than take it personally.
• You say provocative things when you argue. You're tempted to insult your partner or "add fuel to the fire," by bringing up other hurtful issues.
  

Find a Man Who Can Pick His Battles
Couples often differ in how much negative emotion they feel comfortable with. Some couples enjoy intense exchanges, while others avoid them at all cost. You need a partner who wants to keep conflicts to a minimum—who doesn't have to resolve every issue or discuss every hurt feeling. In fact, most ongoing disagreements that couples have center on compatibility and are not easily "fixed."

So you need a man who, like you, wants to accentuate the positive, solve problems when he can, and accept the rest.

Communication Style

You'll bring a mixture of communication strengths and weaknesses to your next relationship.

In the section of the test where you saw couples re-enacting various conversations, your choices suggest a mixture of strengths and challenges when it comes to communication skills. In fact, over half of your choices were different from the answers offered by relationship experts.

Your choices point to communication skills such as:

• You boost your partner's self-esteem. You compliment him and point out his positive qualities, especially when he's feeling down or uncertain.
  
• You're effective at communicating your feelings. You're skilled at putting words to your deepest feelings.
  
• You back up your messages with practical support. You know that actions speak louder than words, so you find ways to offer practical help to your partner and make his life a little easier.
  

No one's perfect.

For whatever reason, you may struggle with other communication skills, such as:

• You may give in too quickly. Because you don't like conflict and want to keep people happy, you may give in when it would be better to stick with the conversation.
  
• You come across a little too reserved and serious at times. People may not realize that you're simply being professional or thoughtful and may assume that you're not enjoying the conversation.
  

You Have a Mixture of Communication Skills

Use Those "I" Statements

One of the most useful communication techniques is to focus on how you feel when your partner says or does a specific thing. When we're annoyed or angry, we all tend to make "you statements" that accuse our partner of a general fault, such as, "What's wrong with you...?" or "You're a jerk!". It's helpful instead to be very specific and focused on the situation, such as, "When you do ABC, I feel XYZ." These "I statements" avoid putting your partner on the defensive. He doesn't feel insulted...he simply has a habit that's hurting you. He can step up and be a "big hero" and stop the habit so you'll feel better.

You Can See Both Male and Female Viewpoints

As you know, men and women often approach disagreements differently. Looking at the section of the test where couples re-enacted disagreements, your choices were largely in line with the choices of other women your age. Still, there were a few exceptions, where you responded more like the men. Here are a few highlights you may find interesting.

Here are two ways your choices were similar to men's perspective:

• Similar to men who took the test, you were comfortable with apologizing and moving on.
  
• When the couple argued in the car after the party, for example, you were in line with men who were willing to apologize for "being too sensitive" about "innocent flirting." Most other women, in contrast, worried this was avoiding an important discussion.
  
• You seemed to agree with the typical male perspective which saw few topics as being worth fighting about. For example, in line with most men, you would rather return the purchase than fight over spending the vacation money. Most other women didn't like the idea of returning their purchase!
  

Here are ways you can balance both masculine and feminine perspectives:

• Overall, women tended to be more aware of underlying issues, while men tried to find the most efficient solution. You balanced between both perspectives, but leaned toward efficiency.
  
• For example, when faced with having to leave the party, you were open to finding a possible compromise (the common male response). But you didn't pick options that might set a bad precedent for how you and your partner would deal with each other long-term.
  

You are a "poor communicator"

Emotional Intelligence

You're empathic and supportive to your loved ones, but you're not skilled at changing your behavior to fit different situations.

Emotional Intelligence, or EQ, refers to your ability to recognize and manage your own emotions, as well as the emotions of the people in your life. You have a very good set of EQ skills, with above average scores on 4 of the 6 areas we examined.

Specifically, you showed promising skills in these three EQ domains:
You have good empathy skills. You genuinely try to understand what your loved ones are feeling and why they feel that way. At times, you actually feel their pain, fear, or excitement. You're not always as empathic as you'd like, especially if you're tired or preoccupied with your own worries. Still, your empathy for others has made you a better friend and confidante and motivated you to reach out to people who are suffering.

You always try to be as supportive as possible. You realize people cope with problems differently and need different types of support, so you do your best to understand where they are emotionally and what they need at that moment. Despite your good intentions, at times you may give advice when they just want you to listen; you may cut a friend off because you're too busy and distracted with your own problems. Still, unlike some people who lack basic support skills, you have good EQ skills and simply need the time and focus to use them. Therefore you may have to postpone connecting with a friend who needs your support until you can relax and put your own problems aside.

You manage stress reasonably well. You manage stressful situations pretty well. You know how important it is to keep a good attitude and avoid letting the situation wear you down emotionally and physically. At your best, you approach stressful events as an opportunity to prove yourself. Even when you feel angry and are tempted to lash out, you try to stay calm and focus on getting around whatever obstacle is in your way. As much as possible, you try to channel the influx of energy and emotions into solving problems and being productive.

Like most people, you still have room to improve your EQ. For example:
You're not always aware of people's hidden feelings and agendas. You know there's often a gap between what people say and what they really feel. However, you don't always pick up on these subtleties. This is partly because you try to mind your own business and not scrutinize everyone around you. You also aren't especially skilled at reading the hidden messages in people's facial expressions or posture. Like any skill, you can learn to be better at reading nonverbal communication. It often takes some training and lots of practice. First, you'd have to sell yourself on how improving your EQ could benefit your relationships and career.

Avoid Destructive Types of Anger

Chronic stress, at work or in a relationship, often provokes feelings of anger and expressions of hostility, which then make the situation even more stressful. Anger is a natural reaction to being frustrated in reaching your goals.

For women, it can be both a symptom and a source of unhappiness in relationships.

Here are some ideas for reducing the negative impact of anger:

Identify the source of your anger.
Is the person or event really the source of your anger, or is it coming from a different or much larger issue?

Ask yourself if there are better ways for you to accomplish your goals.
If someone or something is standing in your way, maybe you should go around the obstacle rather than fight it.

Channel your energy into a productive solution.
Anger helps motivate many women to take control of negative situations and not be a victim.

Distract yourself or take a break if anger is shutting you down.
Anger makes our bodies (and minds) go rigid, so we have to calm down in order to stay productive.

What Are Your Hot Buttons? What you clearly don't like

Compatibility is as much about finding a man whose personality quirks you can tolerate, as it is about finding a man with qualities you find enthralling and sexy. Ruling out from the start men who eventually are going to drive you crazy anyway, can save everyone a lot of heartache.

So, what personality characteristics can you simply not put up with? Here's what appear to be your hot buttons:

• A man who is overly analytic and always tries to be objective would drive you nuts.
  
• You're not attracted to men who are stubborn or difficult to deal with.
  
• You're not interested in being with a thrill seeker.
  
• You don't want a guy who constantly has to be entertained or who's always looking for his next adventure.
  

You actually have one of the easier personality types to get along with. You can put up with almost anything. You also go out of your way to avoid irritating anyone.

The downside of your kindness and flexibility is that you would bite your tongue even if something was bugging you to death. So, as with most things, politeness is best in moderation.

If a man has quirks that bother you, at least give him the chance to modify his habits a little. If he can't, you can probably live with it. But, imagine how good it would feel to know that you could criticize someone (and maybe even be a little rude) and have them accommodate you for a change!

Breaking Past Patterns

You need to have more fun and supportive exchanges, and fewer critical or neglectful ones, in your next relationship.

All serious relationships bring a mixture of good stuff (such as caring, support, and acceptance) and bad stuff (such as criticism, neglect, and manipulation). In the test, when you looked back on your last relationship, you recalled giving more good stuff than he did, while you exchanged about the same amount of bad stuff .

Your last relationship sounds like a series of attacks and withdrawals. Sometimes you criticized and put each other down. Other times, you ignored and neglected each other. You probably felt like you were caught in a vicious cycle.

It's easier for a couple to weather bad stuff when they also share a lot of good exchanges. You gave a lot to your partner, for example, in the form of emotional support. He knew he could count on you to be there for him when he had a problem.

Old patterns can easily repeat themselves. Our brains are wired to seek out and create familiar situations. That's why we often find ourselves having the same types of exchanges over and over again with each new partner. Familiarity is comfortable, and our minds would rather be comfortable than happy. Every time you repeat a relationship pattern, it becomes deeper ingrained and harder to break.

If you can recognize the bad pattern that has trapped you in the past, you can potentially break the cycle. Let your next partner know you're trying to stop being critical or neglectful. Ask him to point out when you're slipping into these old habits. Each time you stop the pattern from repeating, you've made it less familiar and harder for your mind to repeat.

What's Your Power Color?

GOLD




At Your Highest:
You are engrossed in passions that mentally stimulate you.

At Your Lowest:
You seek thrills and neglect what's important in your life.

In Love:
You see dating as adventure and approach it with an open attitude.

How You're Attractive:
You passion for life makes others passionate about you.

Your Eternal Question:
"Am I Having Fun?"

What Age Do You Act?

25

You are a twentysomething at heart.

You feel excited about what's to come...

love,

work,

and new experiences

MY COMMENT & QUESTIONS

Does that mean I can now say I am 25 on my profiles and not be telling a lie!?

One of my profiles had me 4 years younger than I really am.

I didn't update it and besides, I have never felt my age was a big issue

and just didn't feel it a problem.

When I met a guy the VERY first thing I admitted on the first meeting

was that I am not that age but xx.

Didn't seem to bother him til he got into arguements with me and was forever throwing it up into my face about my lie....but, I didn't lie, I corrected the truth.

Actually, that was the only thing he could find fault in me for a lie.

*laughs*

Hey! I am not perfect, you know.

I would like comments from the rest of you.

1. Do you think it is a lie for a woman to say she is younger than she really is?

2. Do you think it is natural for women to lie about their age?

3. Do you hold it against a woman if she lies about her age to you?

Wellllllllllllllll! Of course it stands to reason if you are over 21 and she is jail bait however, I am not talking about that !

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

Part Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity

You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off

And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave

When it comes down to it,

your kisses are truly unforgettable.

Part Shy Kisser

You *do* love to kiss, once your comfortable with it

And that means knowing the person you're kissing pretty well

You usually don't make the first move when it comes to making out

But you've got plenty of intensity in return.

MY COMMENT:

No one here to give a comment !

*laughs*

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

Your Logical Intelligence is Average

Your Verbal Intelligence is Exceptional

Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius

Your General Knowledge is Above Average

Well, for those that think I am dumb!

*laughs*

Report back to what your says, please!!!!

How Do People See You?

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy.

They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder.

It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment.

They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle

and then usually decide against it.

COMMENT:

I didn't see this at all!

*laughs*

Ya'll, who know me, please comment back.

I don't feel this way but then, maybe I really don't see me as you do.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

I had a very hard time on this one.....sooooooooooo,

I opened my first choice because it hit me the hardest and foremost.

I could not leave the second, for I felt the peace as I gazed upon it.

I think it says it all.

You are pure, moral, and adaptable.

You blend into your surroundings.

Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends.

You believe that you live a virtuous life...

And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye.

As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

You are dependable, popular, and observant.

Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.

In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.

You are unique, creative, and expressive.

You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.

And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

Your Hidden Talent

You have the power to persuade and influence others.

You're the type of person who can turn a whole room around.

The potential for great leadership is there,

as long as you don't abuse it.

Always remember,

you have a lot more power over people

than you might think!

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Your Birthdate: July 18

Your birthday on the 18th day of the month suggests that

you are one who can work well with a group,

but still remain someone who needs to maintain individual identity.

There is a humanistic or philanthropic approach to business circumstances in which you find yourself.

You may have good executive abilities, as you are very much the organizer and administrator.

You are broad-minded, tolerant and generous; a compassionate person that can inspire others with imaginative ideas.

Some of your feelings may be expressed, but even more of them are apt to be repressed.

There is a lot of drama in your personality and in the way you express yourself to others.

Oddly enough, you don't expect as much in return as you give.

In The Kingdom, I Would of Been a Shepherd

Many Years ago

there was a period of time

that is often casually called "Medieval."

It was a time, so the story tellers tell us,

of tiny kingdoms, brave knights

and ferocious dragons.

Transportation and travel were both crude and difficult, usually necessitating that each kingdom be as self sufficient and self reliant as possible. So it was very important that within each kingdom all the major crafts and professions of the day were ably represented to insure the survival of the kingdom. In the English language we still see remnants of some occupations in the familiar surnames such as Smith, Carpenter, Miller and Baker to name just a few.

Interestingly enough, beyond the specific title the vocation also took on its own greater personality. This personality preference can also give a broader understanding of the basic complementary style and types necessary to the kingdom's survival, or perhaps any organization's success. Although the specific vocation influenced the name, it was no accident that certain personality types and styles gravitated to certain occupations. The personality of these jobs suited the inclinations of the job holders, and the predecessor to modern day job descriptions was born. The successful matching of a job-holder's personality to the personality and unique requirements of the job was necessary to the kingdom's survival, or perhaps any organization's success. The successful kingdoms more than likely were able to blend the differences into a powerful and formidable entity. With today's diverse workforce, the corporate kingdom that acknowledges and nurtures these personality preferences could become an organization as successful as the Camelot of old.

Even though we now appear to have the freedom to explore many different career alternatives, we still have a medieval vocational personality within each of us. This personality, properly identified and understood, can motivate our success but, if ignored, may set the stage for our ultimate failure. Since times appeared to be simpler then, let us return to the kingdoms of medieval Europe and see what we would have done then, regardless of what our names are now.

Your distinct personality

The Shepherd is to tend to your human flock.

You understand the needs of those for whom you are responsible.

Shepherds are vigilant and reliable.

You realize your obligation and commitment

to the well being of those entrusted to your care.

Shepherds are very dependable.

You engender a feeling of comfort and stability to those within your charge.

On the positive side, Shepherds can be

empathic, caring, understanding, practical and realistic.

On the negative side, you may be manipulative, close-minded and sentimentally rigid.

Interestingly, your preference is just as applicable in today's corporate kingdoms.

How well would you have dealt with DRAGONS in the Medieval Kingdom?(Or ... In Today's Corporate Kingdoms?)
Click on the Dragon below to find out ...

©2005 Career Management International, Inc.
.
.

For Each There Is Another

Personality Types

Explorers: Finding your way without a compass
Explorers are driven by curiosity, imagination and restless energy. They're spontaneous and resist being hemmed in by routines and rules, preferring to "just do it" rather than ask for permission.

Idealists: Opening the world to new possibilities
The Idealist's life mission is making the world a better place. They care about big ideas and issues as well as the lives of people around them. In many ways, they're ideal friends and co-workers who inspire others to pursue their dreams.

Leaders: Getting all you can out of life
Leaders are driven to make an impact on the world. They are courageous, "forces to be reckoned with," unafraid of risk-taking and making unpopular decisions. On a personal level, they are fiercely loyal and willing to do anything to protect their loved ones.

Traditionalists: Bringing strength and stability to the world
Traditionalists bring order to the world with their practical skills, high standards, and hard work. They're loyal and trustworthy friends. People naturally gravitate to them because of their strength, stability and common sense.

Individualists: Finding your own path
Individualists stand out for their imaginative, curious, shrewd qualities. They're filled with surprises and don't do things simply to please others. Not everyone appreciates these true originals.

Rebels: Challenging the status quo
Rebels challenge the status quo with their proactive, defiant, and stimulating style. Skeptics by nature, they see themselves as exceptions to most rules. Still, they're great advocates for individuality and the importance of following one's "bliss."

Givers: Bringing out the best in others
Givers are loving, helpful, generous, and compassionate. They see the best in others and help bring it out. Because their hearts are open, they inspire others to open their hearts.

Creators: Making your unique contribution to the world
Creators devote their curiosity, insight, and passion to both real world and philosophical issues. They have a knack for combining images, ideas, and information in new and innovative ways. Because their talents often set them apart, it's important they find like-minded friends and pay special attention to keeping their mind and body in balance.

Champions: Sharing your winning attitude
Champions are natural winners. They easily adapt and bounce back from problems, thanks to their upbeat attitudes, vitality, confidence and courage. They're always striving to live up to their full potential.

Protectors: Offering a safe harbor
Protectors offer a safe harbor to the people in their lives by being reasonable, reliable, and calm, even in a crisis. People instinctively trust them to watch out for their interests, keep secrets, manage money, and run companies.

Equalizers: Staying balanced and well-rounded
Equalizers are the most balanced and well rounded of the personality types, with an interesting mix of complementary traits. When others are rigid, Equalizers instinctively adjust to fit the situation.

Observers: Finding inner peace
Observers strive to find inner peace in a non-peaceful world. Their shy and cautious nature gives them a chance to observe and learn about people and situations, rather than rush in blindly. Though they look reserved and even aloof, they're actually very warm and kind

From Yahoo Personal Profiles

Upon The Reality, There Is Understanding

Romantic Stumbling Blocks

Romance presents its own set of challenges. As you search to find the right partner, here are a few to watch out for:

Although you like to stick to your routine, occasionally you need to "shake things up" and do something spontaneous and fun with your partner.

My Comment: Most Definately

You need time by yourself every day to "recharge," especially after lots of social contact. Let your partner know why you need this time and that it's so you can be in a better mood to enjoy his company afterwards.

My Comment: Most Definately

Your trusting and generous nature can make you vulnerable to being taken advantage of.

My Comment: Most Definately

You're great about being flexible and going with the flow, but occasionally your partner may want to follow and have you lead.

My Comment: Most Definately

Like The Waters, Over Time, There Is Peace

Your Biggest Challenge Is: Can you put your needs and wishes first?

Many Givers struggle with insecurities and fear that they aren't okay just as they are. You feel that you have to put someone else's needs ahead of your own in order to win their love and acceptance. To get a sense of how big an issue this is, ask yourself: "How differently would I live my life if the only one I had to please was me?"

Givers like you have to make a conscious effort to do nice things for themselves (like get a massage, get enough sleep, take time to exercise or read) every day. Doing these things will remind you that you're valuable and important just as you are. The more uncomfortable this makes you feel, the more you need to do it!

You'd probably also benefit from spending some extended time alone. With no one around to take care of, you get to practice listening to your own needs and wishes. Go to bed when you want to; eat what you want to eat; stay busy or be lazy. Remind yourself how good it feels to take care of your own needs first.

While you're taking care of yourself, you may want to consider tackling these potential areas for improvement:

At times you can be a little too serious and restrained. You need to get in touch with your "silly side." Discover what makes you laugh and do more of it. Let someone else be sensible for a while and let yourself be a kid again.

You can be an approval junkie. You want others to recognize and appreciate your accomplishments and the sacrifices you make for them. Unfortunately, most people either ignore or take for granted what you give. It sounds cliché, but the only one who can satisfy your need for approval is you. Try taking time each day to feel pride in what you've done. Appreciate yourself even when others don't or can't.

You can be a perfectionist. You set extremely high standards for yourself and others. Yet you consistently undervalue what you accomplish. Nothing you ever do is quite "good enough." You have to resist the temptation to focus on details, especially if you lose sight of the big picture by sweating the small stuff.

Bluebirds Nesting

Your Love Style: Sensible

You're looking to fall in love with a lifetime companion—someone who'll share the good times and the bad.

You take love and commitment very seriously. To you, love is a partnership. It's an extreme form of friendship. Dating gives you a chance to learn what you like and don't like and who you would get along with best. However, once you know who you're looking for, it's a waste of time to pursue a relationship and risk falling in love with someone you know is incompatible.

The Sensible love style is the most practical and reasonable of the love styles. You don't expect love at first sight. Liking someone is a good start, and as comfort and closeness grow, love can emerge. Of course, Sensible lovers have to be prepared for the possibility that it may not work out that way. When we "fall in" love, we "fall away" from the routines and rules that define our day-to-day lives. It's this extraordinary emotion that motivates us to rearrange our lives and priorities to incorporate someone else. Paradoxically, it's the irrational part of love that helps us deal with all the pragmatic and logistical challenges of committing to someone.

Even after a passionate stretch, chances are your approach to love will return to a more Sensible style. Most lovers, regardless of how they start, evolve more into companions over time anyway. For now, your "style" of loving has these common features:

It's best for both of you to remain a little independent, especially at first. Falling in love doesn't mean you have to give up your life. Having separate friends and activities, for example, just gives you more to talk about when you're together.
Like the song says, "If you want to know if he loves you so, it's in his kiss." You want passionate kisses and won't settle for anything less. The two of you will probably be instantly attracted to each other. Sexual chemistry isn't everything, but it's a great way to connect body and soul with your partner.

Both partners have to decide when they're ready to make a commitment and at what pace. Rushing into a commitment only adds to the pressure of forming a relationship. The two of you have to find the type and level of commitment that makes sense given your feelings and how long you've been together.

Give Me Dear Lord,

The Strength To Change That Which Can Be Changed

Your Personality Type: Giver

Bringing out the best in others You're a classic Giver who's loving, helpful, generous, and dependable.

You see the best in other people and in humanity in general. Because your heart is open, you help other people open their hearts, too.

You could easily be the person behind a wildly successful spouse or friend, because you're great at supporting and empowering others. You have great organization and planning skills, but because you're so humble and modest, you'd rather see someone else be in the limelight.

You're the most helpful and compassionate of the personality types. So much so, that if you pass a stray dog on the street, it probably kills you not to be able to bring it home. In fact, you have a habit of collecting human "strays," too, who are brokenhearted (or just plain broke!). You take them into your life and your heart, and you feed them with praise and support till they gain back their strength and self-confidence.

Of course, sometimes you do too much for others and become drained physically, emotionally, and even financially. You're not especially good at letting people know what you need. In fact, you try hard to hide when you're feeling bad. That sweet smile goes on your face and no one knows that you're hurting.