Your Biggest Challenge Is: Can you put your needs and wishes first?
Many Givers struggle with insecurities and fear that they aren't okay just as they are. You feel that you have to put someone else's needs ahead of your own in order to win their love and acceptance. To get a sense of how big an issue this is, ask yourself: "How differently would I live my life if the only one I had to please was me?"
Givers like you have to make a conscious effort to do nice things for themselves (like get a massage, get enough sleep, take time to exercise or read) every day. Doing these things will remind you that you're valuable and important just as you are. The more uncomfortable this makes you feel, the more you need to do it!
You'd probably also benefit from spending some extended time alone. With no one around to take care of, you get to practice listening to your own needs and wishes. Go to bed when you want to; eat what you want to eat; stay busy or be lazy. Remind yourself how good it feels to take care of your own needs first.
While you're taking care of yourself, you may want to consider tackling these potential areas for improvement:
At times you can be a little too serious and restrained. You need to get in touch with your "silly side." Discover what makes you laugh and do more of it. Let someone else be sensible for a while and let yourself be a kid again.
You can be an approval junkie. You want others to recognize and appreciate your accomplishments and the sacrifices you make for them. Unfortunately, most people either ignore or take for granted what you give. It sounds cliché, but the only one who can satisfy your need for approval is you. Try taking time each day to feel pride in what you've done. Appreciate yourself even when others don't or can't.
You can be a perfectionist. You set extremely high standards for yourself and others. Yet you consistently undervalue what you accomplish. Nothing you ever do is quite "good enough." You have to resist the temptation to focus on details, especially if you lose sight of the big picture by sweating the small stuff.
Givers like you have to make a conscious effort to do nice things for themselves (like get a massage, get enough sleep, take time to exercise or read) every day. Doing these things will remind you that you're valuable and important just as you are. The more uncomfortable this makes you feel, the more you need to do it!
You'd probably also benefit from spending some extended time alone. With no one around to take care of, you get to practice listening to your own needs and wishes. Go to bed when you want to; eat what you want to eat; stay busy or be lazy. Remind yourself how good it feels to take care of your own needs first.
While you're taking care of yourself, you may want to consider tackling these potential areas for improvement:
At times you can be a little too serious and restrained. You need to get in touch with your "silly side." Discover what makes you laugh and do more of it. Let someone else be sensible for a while and let yourself be a kid again.
You can be an approval junkie. You want others to recognize and appreciate your accomplishments and the sacrifices you make for them. Unfortunately, most people either ignore or take for granted what you give. It sounds cliché, but the only one who can satisfy your need for approval is you. Try taking time each day to feel pride in what you've done. Appreciate yourself even when others don't or can't.
You can be a perfectionist. You set extremely high standards for yourself and others. Yet you consistently undervalue what you accomplish. Nothing you ever do is quite "good enough." You have to resist the temptation to focus on details, especially if you lose sight of the big picture by sweating the small stuff.
posted by Unknown | 7/26/2005 01:41:00 AM
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